Relationship changing

people mentality about to  relationship and changing their mind  

The above statistics clearly show how the people have become more adapting to divorce and extra-marital affairs over the time. Also, many of these divorces are the results of inclusion of a third person as a love interest between the married couples. Considering the socio-economic status of majority Indians, it is clearly evident that women are suppressed in a marriage and subjected to physical and mental harm by the husband and in-laws. Crimes like dowry, marital rapes and domestic violence have set their roots in the Indian society so deep that many don’t even count them as crimes. Along with such crimes come extra-marital affairs who are yet to be considered as a federal crime by the citizens. Following are the statistics that highlight the mindsets and notions of Indians in context with extra-marital affairs:

•  According to various statistics which include surveys done by Outlook and India
• Today, more than 50% men and women admit of having flings and affairs.
• Ashley Madison survey said that now in India, 76% of women and 61% of men don’t consider infidelity or adultery as a sin or immoral act.
• According to DNA India, 40% Mumbai couples seek extra-marital affairs lso, it is imperative to take into consideration of how these affairs result in damaged married lives. Although there are no organized surveys done to find the exact numbers of divorces and their causes in the country, yet the data from local courts and marriage councils how that nearly 30% of the divorce cases filed in Metros have adultery as a component.

Not just resulting into divorce, extra-marital affairs cause more harm than seen or acknowledged. It damages the self-esteem of the partner, who is unaware of their ‘other halves’ getting involved in adultery. Even if they get to know about the relationship, it becomes very difficult to handle the marriage own his/her own. Also it makes the victim partner less confident about his/her skills to impress their spouses. Another important impact of such affairs is the loss of trust in the cheating spouse. An extra- marital affair is kept hidden from the sight of the victim spouse. But by the time it comes to light, he/she has already lost faith in the other spouse. Even if the affair gets over in a certain period, it takes months and years to develop trust in the married relationship. Sometimes, it does not even work, despite visiting marriage counsellors and psychiatrists. Thirdly, these affairs cause emotional instability among both the spouses. Anxiety, hypertension, depression are commonly prevalent in such cases, leading to tragic outcomes. In such psychological state, it also becomes very difficult to get hold on their own lives, sometimes leading to dangerous habits like smoking, drinking and drug consumption. In such cases, not just the couple, but their corresponding families also suffer due to the instability. In many cases, their social status also becomes volatile, creating more tension among the affected people. It breaks the family by weakening trust and reliability among the members. Thirdly, these affairs cause emotional instability among both the spouses. Anxiety, hypertension, depression are commonly prevalent in such cases, leading to tragic outcomes. In such psychological state, it also becomes very difficult to get hold on their own lives, sometimes leading to dangerous habits like smoking, drinking and drug consumption. In such cases, not just the couple, but their corresponding families also suffer due to the instability. In many cases, their social status also becomes volatile, creating more tension among the affected people. It breaks the family by weakening trust and reliability among the members. As result, not only the adults but also children of the affected members suffer due to lesser attention given to them. According to a research by the Asian Academy of Family Therapy and the University of Hong Kong, the children have been highly anxious over the stormy relationship of their parents, and their greatest fear is that their parents would live separate lives.

According to an article published in the Hong Kong Economic Journal on September 3,
following observations were collected about the behavior of the children whose parents do not
have a stable marriage:

• A five-year-old girl’s heart rate surged to 200 beats from below 100 within a minute after she heard her mother chastise her father for forgetting to tuck her into bed. The girl told her mother that her dad did so and she didn’t want to see them quarrel. She stopped speaking when she saw her mother in tears.
• A boy, aged five, demanded that his parents leave the room as soon as they started shouting at each other. The shocked parents stopped right away
• A nine-year-old boy, the youngest in the family, watched his parents argue with each other. He then urged his defensive father not to reason with his domineering mother as their talk would not resolve anything.
•  According to the findings, children aged 10 or below are more direct in communicating their feelings about their parents while older ones are more reserved.
• Some children who find it hard to express their emotions about their parents’ deteriorating relationship give vent to their anxieties in non-verbal ways.
• Three brothers, aged seven, nine and 11, have been suffering from severe eczema, a form of skin disease, since their parents parted ways.
•  A mother of a 12-year-old boy felt very frustrated because her son had refused to speak to her for two years since her divorce to his father. But the boy’s quiet tears betrayed his immense grief.Through these heartbreaking stories, we hope parents will realizethe great impact of their relationship on their children. Parents have a great responsibility in handling their marriage and minimizing the harm to their vulnerable children.

Another disastrous result of extra-marital affairs is the rise in domestic violence against women. Having the domination of patriarchal mindset over the Indian society, women become victim of verbal and physical violence by their spouse and in-laws. Even if they raise their voices against it, they are subjected to rude and violent behaviors by their own parents and society. According to a repost of Hindustan Times published on 10 November, 2014.